I’m Not that into you

May 13, 2017
Relationship

You have met, had a few conversations and maybe a date or two. You start to think maybe there’s hope out there. They call and show genuine interest but then POOF they are gone. Just as if they never existed.  In other cases, they may even stick around and just send mixed signals. Regardless if they become ghost or stay, it can drive one crazy.  Especially, once all the excitement and passion suddenly disappears.

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Regardless if they ghosted you or did a slow fade, this type of disengagement may leave you wondering what happened? Join the dating world!  Although we cannot read minds or control the actions of others, there are some telltale signs we can look for to determine someone's true level of interest. It is a fact that people are prone to avoid conflict or confrontation. Here is a list of things you can look out for to help you determine if they are just not that into you.

Here are some red flags to pay attention to:

1) RARELY ANSWERS AND RETURNS CALLS

In today's world, everyone has their phone at some point with some having their phone more than others. If their calling pattern significantly decrease, pay attention.  If they halfway answer calls, that is a major sign.

2) DOESN'T REALLY ASK ABOUT YOU

People that are genuinely interested in you care about what's going on in your life.  They want to know as much as they can about you. If they do not know the main components in your life, chances are they are really interested.  

3) AVOIDS GOING OUT IN PUBLIC

This may be a sign that they have someone else.  Just a thought. This is not always the case. However, if this is happening to you, they are hiding you.

4) ALWAYS CANCELLING PLANS

Chances are if they are always cancelling plans they are not really concerned about you or your time.  If something comes along better, they will not hesitate in changing plans. Last minute cancellations are just as bad.

5) NEVER MEET IMPORTANT FAMILY MEMBERS

People that are not invested in you will rarely introduce you to important members of their life.  Meeting their friends are sometimes a good indicator. However, this is not always an obvious sign of interest. If you have dated for months but never met anyone in his circle, chances are, they are not that into you.

6) ONLY TEXT

Texting is quick and impersonal.  It is how most of us communicate. It is short, quick and manageable; however, it is hard to cultivate a true connection over text.  If they never pick up the phone, they are not really interested in developing anything concrete with you.

7) RARELY INITIATES CONTACT

If you are the one that mainly reaches out, they are possibly not interested.  Most people who share a genuine interest can't wait to reach you again; however, you do have to allow them an opportunity to contact you.  You can ruin someone's level of interest by constantly texting or calling them. Give them a chance.  

8) VAGUE

So, the contact is consistent, but boring. If you find yourself struggling to have a meaningful conversation or if your conversation is bland and lacks depth, there really isn’t anything to build upon. It takes two. If you feel that you are the only one keeping the conversation going, it’s not worth it.

9) ONLY CONCERNED ABOUT THINGS THAT BENEFITS THEM

People that want to be in your life will be considerate of your needs and concern. If they are only interested in spending time with you if you are spending money on them or if sex is on the menu, it can lead to a dead-end situation. This is key especially if they have little to no concern about the things that you want.

10) ABSENCES AND DISAPPEARANCES

If you notice a pattern in which they seem to drop off the face of the Earth, chances are they are not that into you.

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If you are experiencing any of the above on a regular basis, you need to re-evaluate your dating criteria.  It is easy to get sidetracked, especially when you have met someone that has grabbed your attention; however, these signs should not be confused with someone playing hard to get. People who are genuinely interested in you do not want you to slip away for fear that you might find someone else.

If you are in the dating world, chances are you have been on both sides of the fence.  The important thing to do is remain calm, accept it for what it is and move on.  There is no need to attempt to resurrect or breathe life into these situations. Realize that there is someone out there ready for someone just like you. You two will never meet if you are hung up on a dead cause. Stay positive, remain focused and move on!

Dee Moore

Dee Moore currently resides in Texas which is where she rekindled her love for journalism, production, and philanthropy.  This Oklahoma native credits her modest upbringing for her love of community involvement. Serving on the media team for several non profit organizations has afforded Dee the opportunity to give back to her community in an amazing way.  She is a branding and social media expert who has built her platform from the ground up.  Dee is the responsible of executing the vision of DTV Unleashed, an online media conglomerate displaying a view of life through the lenses of her camera.  She is also the creative force behind "The Merger", an initiative aimed at educating startups on the power of networking, effective marketing and brand protection. As a lover of music, Ms. Moore had her hand as a radio host that showcased underground talent and provided entertainment news headlines from across the world.  She currently the co-host of Tea Talk Time, a podcast addressing a myriad of issues as it relates to life, relationships and current events.  She is also very focused on race relations and how it impacts life. Dee is the force behind Dating While Black and The Melting Pot. Both organizations are geared towards fostering healthy dialogues and addressing issues that impact people of diverse backgrounds.  Dee brings her production, marketing, and speaking expertise to Slay Magazine.

Twitter: iamdeemoore

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